Blog

You’re Not F*cking Special

You probably clicked on the title of this article thinking, “but wait, Abby, I know I’m not special!” And deep down, you know there’s a part of you that thinks you might be, or hopes you might be. Maybe growing up, you were told you were good at drawing or soccer....

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Love Maps: What To Do If Yours Sucks

What is a love map? The term love map was first coined in 1980 by sexologist John Money and defined as "a developmental representation or template in the mind and in the brain depicting the idealized lover and the idealized program of sexual and erotic activity...

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Ambivalence is Totally Okay In Therapy

I generally advocate for a “fuck yes” approach to decisions in life, both big and small. That means that when you invest time, money, or some other precious resource in something, it’s best to be close to 100% on board with that choice.  Going back to grad school? I...

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So I Know I Shouldn’t Care About My Weight…

I have to admit, despite being an anti-diet feminist therapist, I’ve been terrified to write an article about dieting. People really like their diets. If you have a way of eating and relating to food that makes you feel great about yourself and your life, more power...

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Compassion and Action: Therapy and Social Change

Today, I’ll be marching with my husband, daughter, and friends in San Francisco in honor of Martin Luther King Day. Next week, our little family will be marching in the second Women’s March. The theme for this year’s MKL Day march is “The Urgency of Now,” echoing Dr....

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Mindfulness Is a Tool, Not a Virtue

You’re probably aware that mindfulness is the new hotness in mental health. Google Trends shows a steady incline in searches for the term in the past several years. The idea- or should I say the ideal- is being used to sell everything from coloring books to...

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