When You're Not The One Who Needs Therapy
Ok, so everyone needs therapy sometimes
We’re all a little neurotic. I might be a little biased, I have yet to meet a person who couldn’t benefit from a little self-reflection in a supportive relationship . In fact, when I do meet someone who seems at ease with who they are and how they show up, they almost always mention that they’ve had a great time in therapy. If it were up to me, we’d have rad, comprehensive mental health coverage so everyone, absolutely everyone, could come get support when they felt they needed it without hesitating.
But some folks are less likely to get therapy than others. While everyone has an emotional life prone to ups and downs, there are differences in gender, ethnicity, and culture that prevent some people from getting help. Out of pocket therapy is a big financial commitment, and getting insurance to cover it can be onerous and confusing. So it makes sense that, on my couch, things often seem a little unbalanced. I might see a woman whose partner belittles her when the partner’s PTSD is triggered. Or an engineer whose boss can’t accept much-needed criticism because he or she is feeling insecure. “He should be in therapy, not me!” is a complaint I hear with some frequency. In Couples work and Family Systems theory, we often name an identified patient- the person who is showing the symptoms of a family-wide problem.
Therapy is not a punishment
We have this perception that therapy is about “fixing” something that’s been broken or changing something fundamental about the way we live our lives. And yeah, sometimes we do find shifts in behavior that help you get what you need. But an important assumption we hold in therapy is that you’re already inherently whole and good and healthy. We just need to find a way to get through to that part of you. It can help you clear out the “stuff”- unhelpful beliefs, crappy relationship patterns, or traumas- that prevent you from setting boundaries. It’s that “stuff” that allows jerks to get under your skin.
Therapy is self-care
So pat yourself on the back for being a gorgeous, forward-thinking rock star who knows to put their own emotional gas mask on first. Therapy is what you do to allow your spark to burn a little brighter. And I’m willing to bet that the other people in your life- you know, those ones who “should” be in therapy- will want a little bit of that goodness when they see you glowing, confident, and happy. So let's get started. Book a free consultation call or email me at abbycollinsthompson@gmail.com.