Surviving a Crappy Job- How to Stress Less about your Career
I hear it a lot in my office- “I hate my job, but I have to stick around for X, Y, and Z reasons.” Most people, at some point in their careers, work a job that isn’t 100% aligned with their long term goals and current needs. If changing jobs isn't possible, or doesn't suit your needs, here are some strategies for making it through:
Acknowledge your feelings
Get clear about what you’re really feeling. Is it frustration? Anger? Stuckness? Shame? Try not to judge or justify the feelings; just notice them. What is it actually like feeling stuck today? Where do you feel it in your body? Breathe deep and welcome in the feelings. Acknowledging them rather than avoiding them for just a few moments can really help to shift your perspective.
Own your choice to stay
You never have to do anything. You don’t even really have to pay rent or taxes or eat or be nice to your friends- there’s just consequences for choosing not to do those things. Staying in your job helps you somehow- perhaps paying rent or building your career or keeping your health care. Being able to declare for yourself “I choose to do this, even though it sucks” can be really empowering.
Connect to a mentor
Asking for help is always a really great idea. If you’re going to be successful with anything, you’re going to need it. As a therapist, I help people navigate their inner world. Find someone qualified to help you navigate your career too. It can be helpful to hear how someone else struggled and came out on top.
Find a way to make it pay more than just money
It’s always useful to ask yourself what lessons you can learn right now, and how they might apply later. If you’ve got a horrible manager, this is likely not the last time you’ll have to deal with someone you don’t click with. If you’re being given more work than you can reasonably complete, or aren’t receiving the resources you need, this might be a chance to practice advocating for yourself or the people you serve.
Use your misery to get super clear about the future
Here’s an exercise I will sometimes have my clients do for homework: Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left, write down a list of everything that isn’t working for you. Take a breath. Then on the right, list the opposite thing you’re learning that you need in a future job. It could look like this:
Expected to be on call 24/7 I need clear boundaries for personal time Job description isn’t clear I need to know what’s expected of me My coworkers are looking to undermine me I need to be part of a supportive team
Know when you need extra support
Jobs are a big part of our mental health. We spend so much of our waking hours at work, and for a lot of us, they have a huge impact on our self-esteem and survival. It’s understandable that a job that isn’t great for you would create some anxiety. But you likely need extra help if:
You have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, or avoid going to bed on a weeknight
You’re feeling panicky, like you can’t breathe
Your job is majorly getting in the way of your relationships with you partner, family, or friends
You’re getting sick, or having flare-ups of an existing illness, and part of you suspects it might be to get out of work
You’re not eating well due to work-stress
You know you need to ask for extra help at work but the idea of doing that is too scary
If these sound like you, or you’re not sure, I’m here to help. Call me at 415-890-6746 or fill out the form here. We can figure out if therapy would be right for you.