Mindfulness Is a Tool, Not a Virtue

You’re probably aware that mindfulness is the new hotness in mental health. Google Trends shows a steady incline in searches for the term in the past several years. The idea- or should I say the ideal- is being used to sell everything from coloring books to super-expensive candles to wearables.

I have a lot of qualms about consumerism, but if we’re gonna sell stuff, I think this trend is great. After all, mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress, boost focus and memory, minimize emotional reactivity, improve relationships, and boost your immune system. Yes, please. Its benefits to relationships, self-esteem and overcoming trauma are why it is a major tool in my psychotherapy arsenal.

General mindfulness (staying open to all experience) can be overwhelming for some folks, so I use therapeutic, directed mindfulness to help clients stay calm and integrated. But for the most part, mindfulness is really, really good for you. The problem is that we get confused. With a lot of things, like healthy eating or fitness, our minds tend to mush the concept of “good for you” into “makes me good.” And we all want to be good! So if we can instagram a picture of ourselves meditating with our special mindfulness tea, some small part of us hopes that it really is going to reaffirm our essential goodness.

That’s the trick, though. I believe we all are essentially good. But real mindfulness involves getting comfy with our need to be affirmed, with our tricky need to feel better that others, with our need to prove to ourselves and others that we’re doing something to gain control over our problems. In the middle of all that messy stuff- that’s where I’ll meet you. You’re not a good person because you can feel all the sensations in your little toe. You’re already a good person, but you might have a better time if you get a little mindful. If you want to use mindfulness as a tool to improve your well-being and success, book at free 15-minute consultation call with me today.