The Body Image Therapist’s Guide to Exercise

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I'll confess, I'm that really annoying friend who exercises. A lot.

I promise, I don't talk about it all that often- to be honest, that sounds like an uninteresting conversation- but I really enjoy it. I do yoga, lift weights, and bike, and sprinkle in the occasional dance, boxing, or pilates class to round things out.

And it's worth noting that I'm not naturally "fit." When I took the now-defunct Presidential Fitness Test through my school years, I'd pretty consistently score in the bottom five or ten percent. Gym class was pure misery.

As I developed my knowledge in disordered eating, exercise became even more fraught- it became clear how much folks were engaged it in to attempt to spot-treat "problem areas" (eww, no, no part of you is a problem based on size alone) or make up for food eaten, or justify food you plan to have later. None of that is health.

My most dreaded gym class activity, by far, was running The Mile. Within the first lap of the quarter-mile track, my lungs would be burning, my legs would be ready to quit, and- this is the worst part- I'd be demoralized, with most of my class way ahead of me.

As an adult, I discovered the Couch to 5K program a gradual, systematic method to transition from walking to being able to run. While it didn't turn me into a runner, I learned something- my body is trainable! The Mile ordeal was so painful because I *lacked the information* that I wasn't just stuck at "unathletic"- if I wanted to achieve something, it was a matter of finding the right method and applying it.

Here are my tips for exercising in a way that's supportive of a holistic, healthy mind-body relationship.

Consistency is Absolutely Everything

This is my #1 tip- you could stop reading here and walk away with something super valuable. I'm going to break this down into two parts:

1. Show up every day, no matte what. Some days this is a 45-minute bike ride or weightlifting session. Other days it's a 10-minute stretching session. It's not necessarily about the "Don't Break The Chain" method; it's a commitment that part of my day, no matter what, involves doing something supportive for my body. If I'm sick, I sit up in bed and do some deep breathing and stretching for a few minutes. If I'm traveling, I step away from my friends or family to do a little something. If I feel really unmotivated, I give myself permission to try moving for just five minutes and then quit if it doesn't feel good. Paradoxically, the full permission to do very little often motivates me to do a lot more!

2. To make exercise something you want to return to tomorrow, you have to make today's exercise enjoyable. That may mean doing something less intense, less "effective" for your goals (or someone else's), but more fun. It's also important to move in a way that ensures you can move again tomorrow- i.e. don't use up all your resources or overtrain.

Be Thoughtful About What You Let Pass Through Your Ears

Disordered exercise is indeed a thing, and just like disordered eating, can be exacerbated by messages in the community around us. And because exercise can often put us in a vulnerable place, fitness instructors can have an outsized effect on how we feel about our bodies and capacity.

I've experimented with a ton of the online fitness platforms since before the pandemic started, and the majority have obviously made a point of minimizing diet culture talk. I'm super glad for this. But, being human, instructors sometimes manage to slip in comments about weight, food, calories, and so on. Similarly, if you do group fitness or have a walk/run buddy, you may need to steer conversation away from diet and body size. Depending on where you are in your recovery, this might be something to take very seriously or something you can shake off.

Set Goals Based on Function and Feeling

I recommend avoiding goals based on *numbers*. Yes, we all love our SMART goals, but they're not always so supportive of a holistic self-care practice. Instead, I like to focus on what fitness might enable you to do in your daily life (carry multiple bags of groceries, wrangle your toddler, stand up from sitting on the floor) or how it might make you feel (energized, happy, powerful, confident). For example, I like to exercise because it improves my mood, and I can definitely tell I'm thinking more clearly. When I can lift something heavy, it's an amazing feeling of pride.

If you're stuck on a number- an amount of minutes or miles or pounds to lift- ask yourself: What would achieving that number make you feel? Let that *feeling* be the goal.

Use it as a Powerful Tool for Self-Understanding

This is absolutely my favorite thing about fitness. Hopefully, you're already in therapy to explore how you respond to things, but a challenging- or not challenging- workout can be an amazing laboratory to observe how you talk to yourself. Do you shame yourself for not being able to complete reps? Do you push yourself further than you'd like?

Scaling back or taking a rest day can be equally challenging. Pay attention to the thoughts that tell you you *should* be doing more. Sometimes resting, or easing off of a workout, can be the most courageous thing you can do.