Managing Holiday Food Craziness
Let’s talk about disordered eating for a second. Eating disorders have a specific set of criteria, but almost all of us have at some point in our lives engaged in disordered eating. I classify that as patterns of eating that don’t honor your physical needs and sensations, and are rooted in anxiety, shame or other nasty feelings. It might show up as compulsive eating, restricting, fixating on food, or other deeply uncomfortable ways of relating to food. Therapy and self-care can help you heal your relationship to food, but the holidays can be extra problematic. Here are a few ways successful clients have found to manage holiday food craziness.
Know You Deserve to Feel Awesome
One thing that folks with disordered eating need to know: You deserve love and you deserve to feel proud of yourself no matter how you eat or how you look. One of the annoying questions I like to ask my clients when we’re preparing for a tricky meal is: “What do you need to do now to ensure you love yourself at the end of this, no matter how you eat?”
Prioritize Choices that Make You Feel Good
You probably have ideas about what makes a meal healthy and what you can do to take the best care of yourself. That probably won’t be 100% available at a holiday party or dinner. It’s not all-or-nothing: just because your perfect meal isn’t on the menu doesn’t mean you can’t make choices that work for you. That might mean piling your plate with veggies, or taking a walk after dinner. I encourage you, during the holidays and forever, to set aside the idea of calories and think more in terms of what makes you feel amazing. I know it’s easier said than done- it’s a daily practice for most of us.
Eat Slowly, Breathe
Whatever you’re eating, see if you can slow it down. Take a deep breath, into your belly, and exhale fully. See if you can notice one thing in your next bite: maybe a flavor, color, texture or aroma. Slowing things down makes everything more manageable.And if you forget and scarf down hella pecan pie while you’re barely paying attention? NBD. Take a breath. And then another one.
Others Can Eat The Way They Want, But You Don’t Have To Discuss It
For lots of people, trying to have a healthy relationship to food is like trying to swim against the current- you’re working on sanity in an insane world. If you look at advertising or the way we as a culture talk about food, and really think about it, we’ve got some really effed up ideas about eating. (You’re on notice, yogurt ads.)So whether you like it or not, people you love are gonna say weird nonsense about their fave new Paleketoglutavegemite diet. It might work for them; it might not. We’re all on our own journey- wish them well and change the subject.
If Nothing Works, Pick Back Up Tomorrow
One of the hallmarks of disordered eating is the fuckits- giving up on good intentions when you inevitably trip up. If you’re finding yourself doing this all the time, it’s definitely worth seeing a therapist and dietitian to make sure you’re getting what you need. But if it’s just on special occasions, find whatever resources you can to dust yourself off and let it go. If you have a healthy relationship to your body and food, you can love yourself tomorrow no matter how you ate today.If you find yourself struggling with food more often than not, we may need to go a little deeper. Make an appointment with me- we can discuss an individualized plan to get you feeling great about your body and food.