Seasons and Feelings
photo credit: zerotake via unsplash
This year, I moved back to New York from California.
I love California. I love the laid-back culture, the beautiful landscapes, and the super progressive politics of the Bay Area. As much as the unexamined optimism of the tech sector absolutely deserves all the criticism it gets, I have to admit I love the way folks in CA tend to think "maybe this will be the one big idea that will change everything for the better."
One thing I really missed was seasons. Where I lived in Oakland, it was always kind of fluctuating between fall and spring. It might go down into the 40s in December, but by January we'd have a spate of 60-degree weather. Every once in a while there would be a 100-degree heat wave, but that was rare enough to make national news, and remarkable in that most folks don't have air conditioning.
I've passed my first summer back in NYC. I didn't love the humidity. And I know from years prior that I'm not going to love the bitter cold of January and February, either. As someone close to me put it, "you've moved to an area that's a lot less conducive to human life."
But what I do love is seeing the leaves change, the constant dance of a shifting environment. As I type this, the leaves are turning their dramatic colors and piling down onto sidewalks. I'm fondly remembering a little parklet that was stuffed to the brim with daffodils in April, now just full of dull grass.
As a therapist, it's clear to me that each season has important benefits for our psychological and social well being:
The winter is, well, cold. We "hibernate" a little and conserve our energy. Starting in fall, we have a whole series of holidays that encourage us to deepen our relationships, slow down, and get cozy. You can reasonably take issue with the nature of those holidays (Thanksgiving erases and whitewashes the history of Native peoples, Christmas is just capitalism run rampant and a mental load burden on women, Valentine's day is a bullshit Hallmark holiday that sets up pressure to "perform" romantic love). But the overall theme of coming together, taking care of one another, and huddling together for literal or figurative warmth is so necessary to the human condition.
I've written about this before but New Year's is an important holiday to me. Yes, it's absolutely arbitrary, and other cultures celebrate the changing year on all different days. But there's something magical about taking stock about what happened in the last year and what you'd like to happen in the coming year at a time when so many others are doing the same. My husband and I download and fill out Year Compass every year, over a lot of hot tea and over the course of a few days.
In spring, we see blooming, both sudden and gradual. The weather warms up and we experience our first tentative steps out of our cozy homes into the outdoors. While we might intellectually "know" that things bloom again, that the world starts up again- it's a very different thing to actually see and feel it. To me, it's a reminder of optimism and, like many of the holidays this time of year, rebirth.
Summer is where everything is at its most full and we spend the most time outdoors, exploring and adventuring. That optimism that poked its head out in spring is most active here. We might actually feel more bold and vibrant, and cooling down- whether with cold beverages or the pool or just huddled around the air conditioner- provides sweet relief when it feels like too much.
In fall, things start to slow down and cool down. Even if noone you know is in school, the beginnings of the school year- getting oriented, getting organized, taking on new projects, can be felt in the air. It might feel like a relief to slow down from the intensity of summer. There's often a pull to turn inward and reflect (many therapists report fall being their busiest time!).
I don't think you need to live somewhere with dramatic seasons to notice the change in your environment. I do think, though, that noticing the way those shifts affect your feelings can be absolutely transformative. Your experience of the seasons may be different than mine, but we all have "seasons"- and it's helpful to remember that whatever we are going through will shift and change in the coming months.
